Dear Diary #49

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Dear diary,

I can’t believe that October is here! September seems to have flown by and taking the last of summer with it. Outside it feels like autumn is settling in now. The leaves on the trees are changing coloring and falling. There’s also been strong wind and heavy wind but most noticeable the fast coming and long nights. I remember during summer, it still being light till nine but now the clock chimes seven and night arrives.

Now normally, I’d be so excited and looking forward to Halloween but I’m not. I just can’t seem to shake off this feeling that something is wrong. I’ve reviewed everything and turned lot over in my head whilst laying in bed these past nights, but I still don’t know where this feeling has come from. It’s like I’ve forgotten something important or there’s something off about my normal self, I’m not thinking right anymore.

I don’t know if I should just let it go or try to figure out more deeply what’s wrong? Maybe, it’s just the full change of the season coming in. I mean, summer has felt so hot and long this year and I guess we’ve all gotten so use to living in what seems to be a more tropical country. Now, it’s back to normal England and everyone is unhappy – expect for people like me who are not a fan of the heat!

It’s also that point of the year when I just feel more alone and fed up. Not for any real reason, it’s just feeling tried and ill all the time. I know it’ll pass and I do really want it to. There’s a lot to look forward to in the next few weeks and months, too much for me to be in this grumpy mood!

 

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