Alexithymia Dear Diary #atozchallenge

organizer-791939_1920

Alexithymia; An inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner.

Dear Diary,

I had the results of the test back today and at the age of thirty-one, I can finally put a name to my many issues; I’m autistic.

I feel pretty torn over it because on one hand, I’m like yeah that explains why I am like I am, my brain works differently from other peoples’ but that’s okay because you’ve survived this long and you can now have help if you need it.

On the other hand, I’m like oh my God. What I’m going to do now? I’ve got this label over me and it’s not good. How can I explain it to people, will people’s opinions change of me? My whole world just got thrown out of the window and how can I now carry on living with this news?

So, yeah. I’ve all this stuff in my head now but of course I’m struggling to express it or understand it. It’s like I’m not bothered, it’s a fact I have autism, can’t change that so no point freaking about it. It’ll take me awhile to accept but I will.

The specialist said learning more about it could help and also figuring out what kind of support the university and work could give me.

Am I going to let this stop me getting my computer games design degree? No! I just have another thing as well as being a woman in a male dominated industry to deal with but that makes me more determined then ever to prove I can make something I love and dream about a reality.

 

(This is a fictional story)

(Join in the challenge here; http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com)