Jayus #atozchallenge

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Jayus; a joke so poorly told and unfunny that you can’t help but laugh. 

Nerves got the better of him, he stumbled over the joke’s words and messed up the punch line.

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No Man’s Path #FridayFictioneers

It had been a silly idea to come this way in the car. There wasn’t even a road! But dad had insisted he knew a short cut around the mountain. Rounding the bend though there was a small sign off to the side. There was a red circle with a line through it and underneath was a figure with a large black hand. It could only have meant stop. I tried to tell him this and so did mum, but he just carried on.

Hours later, we had to be rescued off the mountain top. Dad claimed it had been a successful adventure though!

(Inspired by; https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/03/21/23-march-2018/ with thanks).

The F-Word #1LinerWeds

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She said I couldn’t swear around the puppy in case he started to pick up my bad habits.

(Inspired by;https://lindaghill.com/2018/03/21/one-liner-wednesday-the-f-word/ with thanks).

Frogs Return #TwitteringTales

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There were a few ways you could tell the season was changing; warmer weather and green plant shoots, but for me I knew spring was here when the loud croaking and pop splashing of the frogs in my pond started waking me up each morning.

(Inspired by https://katmyrman.com/2018/03/13/twittering-tale-75-13-march-2018/ with thanks).

Highland #3LineTales

‘Well, you seem a friendly enough chap,’ I said leaning over the fence.

The highland cow mood as if agreeing then with his long blue tongue licked me!

Crying out, I stumbled backwards and slipped on the drool dripping from my hand.

 

(Inspire by; https://only100words.xyz/2018/02/01/three-line-tales-week-105/ with thanks).

Dear Diary #41

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Dear Diary,

It’s the first day of a new year and everything has gone wrong all ready! This morning there was another leak in the caravan and the rain was coming down so hard there wasn’t much we could do. We just put another pan down and spent another day bailing water out of the caravan.

I’ve been huddled up in the bed, coughing my head off and sneezing for hours. I can’t get warm and I’m just so fed up. Phone signal is terrible and I don’t think they’ve heard of the internet on this stretch of coastline. I’m too tried and frustrated to read or focus on anything else. I’ve been napping then watching the rain and the wind.

Noah went out for a walk somewhere in the afternoon. He’s sick of my moaning about leaving and returning home. He thinks it’s great out here, escaping from everyone else and the madness of New Year celebrations. Really he’s the mad one! This barren campsite in the middle of nowhere isn’t anyone’s idea of ‘escaping’, no matter how much money we saved!

When he came back, soaked through and in need of new clothes and warmth, he tried to take a shower. There was no hot water! He was muttering about for ages and then give up saying this part of something had broken and he couldn’t fix it. He did though changed his clothes and make a pot of tea.

We sat in silence drinking. The rain falling so loud it was like being inside a drum. I swear I heard rumbles of thunder too. Having run out of energy to argue, he sat at the table reading and I carried on my longings out of the window. All I could think about was being home, dry and warm, tucked up in bed and knowing I wasn’t in this horrid caravan anymore!

Then Noah declared he was going to cook us some food. From the bed, I give him simple instructions and all was going well until I noticed the smoke trickling out of the oven! A lick of flame quickly followed and I just knew that all was lost.

To his credit, Noah jumped into action and some of the food was saved but the oven wasn’t. It was a good job the whole caravan didn’t set a lit! I felt a bit warmer afterwards but the smoke got too much and we had to open all the windows and go to stand in the awning.

I had coughing fit after coughing fit. Nothing seemed to stop it. Finally, half collapsed on a folding chair, I was able to get back together again. I wanted to give Noah, a piece of my mind, but I didn’t have the energy for that.

Moving back in, the caravan still smelt smokey but the air was cleaner. Noah tidied up and I got ready for bed as best I could. Then we both started settling down. The rain is still pouring and dripping through the cracks. Noah has started coughing badly too and though he blames it on the smoke, he’s coming down with the flu too.

Perhaps, in the morning I could try again to change his mind and we can go home I day early. Oh, to be in my nice bed again and not have to worry about anything! That really isn’t too much to ask for is it?

Town Decorations #FridayFictioneers

I looked up at the high street’s Christmas decorations with a mixture of  puzzlement and anger. At the lights turn on, the mayor had announced that due to lack of funds this year, they had decided to go with a ‘homemade’ feel..Children, old people and those who had nothing better to do, had dug out their old decorations and got making some too. Long knitted scarfs wrapped around the lampposts, ancient lights danging down, children’s glittered things and was that someone’s Mrs Santa’s nightdress? Well, I guess the town had come together in the spirit of Christmas.

(Inspired from; https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/12/13/15-december-2017 with thanks).

Ice Tree #FridayFictoneers

It had only been a stupid school playground game; who could lick an icicle and get their tongue stuck? However, things hadn’t gone to plan and the four boys had ended sat in the staff room for the afternoon waiting for the icicles attached to their tongues melt.

(Inspired by; https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/12/06/8-december-2017/ with thanks).

Bump #TwitteringTales

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A winter horse carriage ride through the park had seemed like a good place to propose to her but then there was a bump and he dropped the ring.

(Inspired by; https://katmyrman.com/2017/11/28/twittering-tales-60%E2%80%8B-28-november-2017/ with thanks)

Teeth #OneLinerWednesday

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The dentist frowned down at his patient and sighing deeply said, ‘Mr Green, please stop gluing your teeth back in, it won’t help them stop chattering in the chilly weather!’

(Inspired from; https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/13/one-liner-wednesday-cheating/ with thanks).