I took my new camera to the beach on Sunday and took some photos. They looked fine on the viewing screen but later, on my laptop screen, I noticed that some of them hadn’t come out right. The people were blurred like ghosts, I was disappointed but I did like the effect.
In fields full of flowers we would spend our summers; playing, talking, reading, kissing. Standing at the edge now, I could see her still, running in a flowing white summer dress, the hem brushing the steams of the flowers as her hands trailed across their petals. She was laughing and looking back at me as I chased her.
A soft rain began to fall, darkening my clothes. I ducked under an oak we had used as shelter many times. If I pretended for a few moments, she was on the other side of the trunk, counting as we played hide and seek.
The rain came down harder, dripping through the leaves above. A rumble of thunder echoed across the fields. I shivered and wondered, why had I come back here? Had I really thought she would be here waiting for me? Lightening lit up the grey sky. The hairs on my arms stood up, it was unsafe to stay here.
I began running back to the village, the rain soaking me and the thunder clapping. I was crying, my chest hurt, I felt crushed with wanting what I could no longer have. She was gone forever and she would never run through those fields again.
She didn’t want to go to the park but she had no where else. Sitting on a bench next to the duck pond, she wondered, how have I hit rock bottom so hard? Wiping tears, she told herself she’d get through. She would find the strength like she always did.
The grass is always greener on the other side they say. Well, I looked over yesterday and the grass looked worse; brown with dead patches. The perfect reflection of my current situation.
At my desk, I read through all the job rejection emails and wondered why. Once I’d had no problem finding employment but since being left in a wheelchair due to the car accident, I was experiencing the world differently.
Well, I guess the world will have to experience me differently! I’m still the same brain and being trapped in a less mobile body isn’t going to stop me.
In the time it had taken to break off the engagement the teapot had go cold. I wasn’t bothered, never be a fan of tea. I picked up a wedge of Victoria sponge cake and ate. Strangely, my mind was clear, it had been the right decision for us both.
Children’s laughter followed as she walked through the woods. The smile on her face grew and she spread both her arms out so that her fingers could brush the moss covered tree trunks and tall bushes.
Summer hung heavy in the air, carrying the heady scent of flowers, enough to drown upon. The low river tumbled passed, eager to get to the seaside. Bees buzzed, birds tweeted, squirrels scampered and the children played.
She felt at peace here. It was far from the busy city and her home, quiet of people but loud of nature. She could be anything she wanted amongst the trees with no one to judge her; a princess or a child again and not the gnarled old maid.
The children were calling, telling her to come back and see what they had found. She hadn’t gone far, not being able to walk well now. She totted back, wondering if they would show her shiny fish or wiggly worms? She reached the pebbly river bank where she had left them but it was empty.
She shut her eyes then opened them again. The ceiling of the hospital glowed white above her. Sirens wailed in the distance and the hush of nurses’ shoes crept along the nighttime corridors.
He only came when it rained, coming off the moors to seek shelter. I would sat in the library’s window box, reading by gas lamps. I would try to ignore the sounds of him moving around. I had nothing else to say to him nor him to me. We were ghosts to each other.
I’d never really thought about it before but it was true what the museum tour guide said; your shoes say a lot about you. I looked down at my own scruffy but comfy trainers, they had spent years on my feet, walking and running through so many different places.
I looked at the scene before me; a traditional Japanese woman trying on an American pair of red high heels. She seemed pleased with them, her husband not so sure. Perhaps he was worrying over the price?
I twisted my trainers around and decided I could do with some new shoes, maybe not as fancy as her’s though.
Bag handler, Frank slowly opened the abandoned suitcase, preparing for the worse. The soft, fuzzy head of a brown teddy bear popped out. The bear smiled at him then attempted to climb out of the suitcase. Frank stumbled back in shock.
‘Is this America?’ the bear asked.
‘No, it’s Scotland.’ Frank managed to answer.
‘Oh, stuffing!’ the bear cursed, ‘must have put the wrong labels on….Can you help me get there?’
‘They went on holiday and left me behind by accident!’