Dear Diary – October

Dear Diary,

The winds are changing, they are colder and wilder and enjoy sweeping the rain and everything else about. Nature is turning; leaves becoming colourful, things are dying back and animals are busy.

Autumn is in the air for sure! Summer has been clinging on all September but now finally, she’s let go. The air smells of burning leaves and wood, mixed with damp earth and slightly rotting of vegetations.

I’ve been breathing deeply every time I’ve been outside. I loved that autumn smell and the cold air in my lungs. The wind caresses me like an old lover wanting once again what we now can’t have.

I walked in the woods today and there the earth and leaves smell so good. The river was cloudy with dirt and rubbish. I saw a shopping trolley- why is there always one in every river? Like a river isn’t complete without a rusting trolley!

The ground was wet with yesterday’s rain but there was a dry crispiness to the air. Some people were walking their dogs and children were playing. It busy but not noisy.

I went to the tree my parents as teenagers had carved their initials in and scratched a love heart around. I traced the shape and the letters with my fingers. Would I ever experience the love they do?

Home and into the bath to warm up. There’s something nice about easing the aches of walking for three hours in a tub of warm water. I had soup of tea and though the clock said it was early, I went to bed because darkness was pressing against the windows.

Tomorrow, I’m going to start my Halloween shopping and I can’t wait!

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The Walk Home #WeeklyWritingPrompt

Even though he had to work on Sunday, Nick always went to church afterwards. Sitting on the cold wooden pews, he stared at the alter watching the candles flickering against the stone wall and stained glass arch window above. Nick shut his eyes and prayed, thanking God for his second chance, for removing his sins and his needs now being meet.

Not long ago, Nick was barely surviving his fourth year on the streets. Newly released from jail for robbing shops, houses and cars, he found himself with hardly anything. He couldn’t get a job and when he spent all the money he had, he found himself with no home. There seemed nothing else left for him to do but die in the gutter.

However, death had left him alone and during his first snowy winter on the streets, Nick had often visited churches and other holy places that left doors open. There he had found himself again through religion.

Years later, with the help of a few kind people, Nick had turned over a new leaf and found employment in maintaining the cities’ churches. An old victor had allowed him to live in a tiny vicarage which was very basic but at least it was warm and dry. To Nick it was the best home he had ever had.

Leaving the church, he made his way through the graveyard. It was snowing heavily again and some of the smaller headstones where almost covered. Nick was careful and respectful in his walking, he tried not to disturbed anything. His breath misted in front of his face and snow fell on his worn coat and rubber boots. He didn’t shiver or really feel the freezing air, he was use to the cold now.

Leaving deep footprints, he went through the open gate at the end of the graveyard and along the path to the vicarage. Snow lay thick on the roof of the building and also on the window sills. There was little arched porch at the front and Nick huddled underneath. He shook the snow from his coat and boots then dug in his pockets for the key.

In the quietness, Nick putting the key in the lock and opening the door sounded louder then normal. Heading in, he turned the light on and felt a brush of warmth. Taking his his things off in the hallway, he went into the small living room and looked out. It was dark outside but thanks to the streetlights reflecting off the snow, Nick could make out some of the graveyard and the church.

‘I wouldn’t like to be out there right now,’ Nick mumbled, ‘thanks for my new life.’

 

(Inspired by; https://secretkeeper.net/2019/01/21/weekly-writing-prompt-177/ with thanks).

Hiraeth #atozchallenge

Hiraeth; a homesickness for a home you can’t return to or that never was. 

I went back the other day. I don’t know why but I was just passing. I had been to a job interview at that new office block. It was nothing special, just a call center that was expanding but easy work I could do.

On the way back, I went a different route, I guess out of old habit. I went down the road we always walked to school on. Passed the ‘big’ houses and row of trees. It’s gone now that school but the houses and tress are still there. After that though everything had changed.

Those long narrow roads we use to play on are now normal roads going around the new housing estate. The blocks of flats that we all use to have live in have been wiped away as if they were never there.

The park is still there though and I pulled up there to have a wander about. It was quiet, but I guess for the middle of a week day that it normally was. Leaving my car, I had a look around and noticed they’ve upgraded the park. There’s a whole new play set, a skateboard area and a football pitch. The old duck pond had been giving a make over too.

I probably looked liked a salesman walking around, just without a briefcase and or clipboard. It was hard to know where my flat had once been. There hand’t really been streets as it had been all one place. The new names streets give me no hint. Nor was the old dead tree stump there or the little corner shops.

The houses look nice though, better then the grey stacks we called home. I realised I missed them. I hadn’t thought about my childhood home in years but standing here now I felt the longing for my old room. We’d play games and stay up late, annoying the neighbors with our music. There had been bad times and good, like everyone else.

I saw a curtain move and a small dog began barking at a window of the house I’d stopped at. I turned and walked back to my car. There was nothing else to see and do here. That feeling of wanting to go back stayed with me but I knew I only could in my memories now.

I got the job by the way.

One Shot

When she picked up the email her heart leaped. This was her chance to prove she could do it and move on from being a plain old receptionist. This job interview was her ticket through a new door and only goodness lay at the other side.

She spent the rest of the day preparing; getting her clothes sorted, reminding herself of what she wrote in her job application, writing down questions and answers and even internet researching things. She felt so ready and like the job was her’s no matter what.

Laying in bed that night though, she couldn’t sleep. Her stomach churned like fish heads in a mincing machine, her back ached as if she was laying on a wooden board and her head swim like a whirlpool. She plucked thoughts out of the air as they whizzed passed; what if they asked a really weird question? what if she messed up a big answer? What if someone else was stronger then her?

She saw the job slipping away from her, like ice melting and trickling out of her hands. Sitting up in bed, she turned on the light and reached for one of the self-help books by her bed. She had recently shuffled them so the one about succeeding in interviews and a new job was at the top. Finding her place, she read for awhile. That give her some comfort.

Sleeping well afterwards, she arose in the morning and went about everything as normal. There were large, scratching butterflies in her stomach and her back was still twinging, but she got by. Then it was finally time to get ready and leave. Reminding herself that the job was as good as her’s already, She give it her all and walked out afterwards on a new path.

Job Hunter

She set out to find a new job knowing that there was a whole ocean to cross before she got anywhere. However, she had braved this ocean before so, it wasn’t as scary but still she prepared her CV boat with a heavy heart. Later, she cast away and hoped that this time she could weather the storm again.

Candy Shoes

Mini had to send the shoes back. She had no choice in the matter, she really couldn’t afforded them. Placing them back into the white glossy box, she sighed and wondered if she would have to do the same with the dress. Putting the lid on top, Mini heard the rolling grumbling of thunder and rain hitting against the window.

She went to look outside and saw that her small back garden had become flood and the water was almost at the door’s ledge. Luckily, the weather forecast had given her a heads up and she had already sandbagged the doors and window sills. Mini went back to her bed and the shoes. Taking the plastic parcel bag they had come in, she put the box inside and grabbed the duck tape to seal the end.

Her sister wouldn’t be happy, she thought. The wedding was only two days away and even if it did stop raining there was no way the water would have gone down. A lightening flash came in the window behind her, lighting up the room and showing Mini what she’d rather not see – the emptiness.

She took the parcel downstairs and placed it behind the front door. Her fist tightened on the plastic before she let it drop and turned away. The living room was dark like the rest of the house and an uneasy feeling hung everywhere. Mini turned on the light and sat on the sofa. The storm raged on over head as she looked around the nearly empty living room.

Marks on the floor and walls showed were things had once been. The shoe scruffs in the carpet added to all the other hints that she was moving out. Mini pulled the paperback novel she had left of the arm of the sofa over to her and began reading it.

Sadness and tears covered her face and she thought of the irony of her marriage ending and her sister’s just beginning.