Nothing

Black And White, Night, Dark, Moon

She just wanted to vanish into the nothing, that way she could stop feeling all those heightened emotions. Laying back on the sofa, she let the heavy metal music pounding from the headphones fill her head. She drifted with the drums, the guitars and the lull of the singer’s screaming voice.

Swallowing tear after tear, she wondered if she would ever feel unbroken again.

Little Black Book (Part 5)

Book, Open, Pages, Literature, Textbook, School

 

Kimmy closed the notebook and tried to tuck it away. Suddenly she felt over protective of it. Fixing a hard look on her face, she shook her head slightly and felt baby loose strands of hair brushing against her forehead.

‘Maybe, I made a mistake…’ he said and rubbed his hands on his knees.

They both looked away. Him around the carriage and her the window. Kimmy manged to slip the notebook into her pocket. She steadied her breathing and played with her hair. In the reflection from the window, she watched him turn and look at her. Swallowing, she nervously twisted around. The noise of the train rumbling into a tunnel echoed loudly in their ears mixing with the similar music still coming out of their headphones. The inside lights flickered for a few seconds, before casting everything in an ugly orange shade.

‘Why did you say that?’ she asked.

‘Because I lost a notebook full of drawings like that,’ he stated.

‘Weeks ago?’ she whispered, dropping her head and peering shyly back at him.

He nodded, ‘it must have slipped out of my bag. I didn’t know till hours later. I thought…I’d never get it back…’ he shrugged, ‘I won’t…’

Kimmy touched the notebook through her pocket before pulling it out again. She handed it to him. He paused then took it from her. She watched him flip through the pages and listened to the paper zinging together. He came to a stop, glanced at her then looked down again.

‘I picked it up and I did mean to hand it in, but when I got off the train there was a storm and I guess I just forgot. I’m sorry,’ Kimmy gushed, ‘then I wasn’t going to look at it, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t important and try to find out who it belonged too. It’s yours isn’t it?’

‘Yes, he breathed.

Kimmy nodded and unable to take it anymore, she fixed her face to the window.

The darkness came to an end as the train blasted out of the tunnel. Rain hit the window, trailing clear beads down the glass. A mix of green and brown colours went passed like a smeared painting. The scene blurred before her and she felt tears prickling her eyes. Confused at her mixed emotions, she wiped her eyes and went to pull up her headphones.

There was a brush of warm air and fingers on her back as she moved. Kimmy glanced over her shoulder.

‘What’s your name?’ he asked softly.

‘It’s Kimmy. What’s yours?’

‘Alex. It’s nice to meet you.’

‘You too,’ Kimmy answered and let her hands fall into her lap.

Alex opened the notebook, having held a page with his fingers. He showed it to her and Kimmy saw the sketch of herself concentrating. She pulled a face which was quickly replaced with a small smile.

‘I hope you don’t mind…I couldn’t help but notice you a few times,’ he spoke.

‘It’s amazing. As are your other drawings,’ Kimmy answered.

‘Thanks. And thanks for giving this back to me. It means a lot.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘Here, you should have this…’

Kimmy grabbed Alex’s hand as he went to rip the page out.

‘How about you do a proper portrait of me instead?’

He stopped and Kimmy cursed herself.

Did I just say that? What? Why? She thought, there’s no way he’d want to even…and now he’s looking at me like I’m crazy. Great. Way to go!

‘Seriously?’ Alex asked.

‘Only if you want too…I mean….I don’t know if I can pay you and everything…’

He nodded then thoughtfully said, ‘why don’t we start with a coffee first?’

‘Yes. I’d like that,’ Kimmy replied, the growing smile lighting up her face.  

 

To Be Continued…   

Little Black Book (Part 4)

Book, Open, Pages, Literature, Textbook, School

Kimmy’s breath caught in her throat. It’s not really me, she thought. Lifting the notebook up, she inspected the drawing, her heart pounding loudly. However, there was no deigning her single plaited hair, large headphones and button nose. There was also that look of concentration on her face which she really hated because it made her look like she was pulling a funny face.

Biting her lip, she turned the page back as her IPod decided to play a Bullet For My Valentine song. There she was again! This time though her expression was distant and thoughtful as she was looking far too the right. The page slipped from her sweating fingers and her eyes unfocused for a few seconds. Lowering the notebook, she took a deep breath and turned to the window. The train was pulling into a station.

There was a movement of people and faint voices. She kept her head turned, ignoring everyone. A blast of cold air tickled her then rolled around her legs before the doors shut once more. The train shuttled off, the PA pinging on to announce the destination and stations on the way. The window view changed to outer edge city, with rows of houses, towers of apartments and storage buildings framed by a darkening sky.

Kimmy felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned. There was a good looking man about her age standing there. He had longish black hair falling over his clean shaven face, brown eyes and a slightly desperate expression. A large pair of padded headphones was wrapped around his neck. He was wearing a long black leather jacket, heavy metal band t-shirt, black jeans with looping, dangling chains and large multi bucked boots.

Kimmy slipped one headphone off her ear.

‘I’m sorry, but there’s nowhere else to sit,’ he said.

She glanced at her backpack on the chair next to her then back to him.

‘I’ll put in the luggage rack for you,’ he added.

Nodding, Kimmy put the notebook between her legs and passed over the bag. He took it off her and slotted on the bottom shelf. He put his own next to it then sat down as she shuffled over.

‘Thanks.’

‘It’s fine,’ Kimmy muttered to her knees.

She slipped back her headphone, kept her eyes down for a few moments then picked up the notebook again. Turning away as much as she comfortably could, she opened the pages randomly. A raven glared up at her with a single beady eye. The feathers were wonderfully drawn and coloured in deep black. A string of red hung from a sharp looking beck and there was an eyeball at the raven’s clawed feet.

Over the page, another raven with its beck open in a scream sat on a skull who’s empty eye sockets stared haunting up at her.

Kimmy felt the man shifting. The back of her neck prickled as it seemed he was watching her. She glanced. He was. She stole a few more peeks and saw the look of puzzlement on his face. He also appeared to be leaning further over as if trying to see the notebook better. Kimmy thought about closing it or turning more away, but it was the growing look of recognition on his face that kept her frozen.

Finally, she slipped her headphones off and turned to him. Shock spread across his face then vanished as he turned away. He took off his own headphones then turned back to her. Kimmy closed the notebook.

‘I’m sorry. It’s just that…I think that’s mine…’ he trailed off.

 

To Be Continued…

Little Black Book (Part 1)

Book, Open, Pages, Literature, Textbook, School

Kimmy squeezed her way on to the train just as the doors were closing. Yanking her plated rainbow coloured hair and the hood of her grey duffel coat out of the way, she glanced at the sealed doors. Catching her breath and pushing up her purple framed glasses, she felt the train moving and watched the platform sliding away.

Heading into the carriage, Kimmy looked for a double or table seat which was empty. People looked up at her then back to their screens or books. There was a low mumble of chatter as people talked to one another or their phones. At the back, she found a double spot and dumped her small rucksack down. Sliding across to the window, she looked at the darkening cityscape rumbling by.

Liverpool in all its grimy glory, she thought wearily, not that it differs much from Manchester.

The PA binged on and a rusty man’s voice began announcing the route. Kimmy rested the side of her head against the icy cold glass and shut her eyes. Something knocked against her shuffling foot. Looking down, she saw a black shape and reached a hand down to grab it. Soft worn, leather brushed against her skin and there was a rustle of paper. Balancing it in both hands, she inspected the small rectangle book. Written along the bottom in sliver ink was; If found do not open.

Staring hard, she tried to decide if the handwriting looked female or male. Her fingers sort the edge of the cover and she almost flipped it over. The words lingered in her head, causing her to wonder what was so important inside the pages that the writer had to instructed people to stay out. She pressed the book between her palms.

The train juddered into a station, bring her back. Out of the window, Kimmy saw people moving to and from, those walking away were opening umbrellas and pulling up hoods. Rain was dripping from the platform roof and beyond gathering on the wired fence. The sky was now dark grey boarding on black, threatening heavier rain, prepares even a storm.

The last passengers got on and began searching for a seat as the train started up again. Kimmy watched two businessmen sit down at a table were a young couple were holding hands across the thin plastic. They began talking loudly about a meeting they had just come from and making rude jokes.

Slotting the notebook between her legs, Kimmy unzipped her bag and pulled out her IPod and noise cancelling headphones. She put on some heavy metal and let the loud booming songs carry her away. Tugging up the notebook, she slotted it into the rucksack and without any further thought, watched the ever changing view going passed the window.

 

To Be Continued…

Church (Chapter 3, Part 3)

17 Photos of Abandoned Churches These old Churches have long been abandoned but not forgotten. Awesome photos keep them alive in our memories!

Continued from Church chapter 3, parts 1 and 2.

A soft female voice, which I half recognised, was repeatedly calling my name, though she sounded very distant. A harsher male voice, which I didn’t know, cut in with, ‘you are on the wrong side of Heaven now, but you are still too righteous for Hell.’ Was that an actual person or just a voice inside of my head? I felt fingers tugging at something across my sides, but I let go and fell into a dream.

I was flying amongst fluffy white clouds, the sun glorious hot on my skin. Trumpets and harps were playing gentle songs in my ears. I was aware of other angels filling the sky around me and the feeling of wings brushing against my own. Still, though that same female voice called my name, ‘Blaze?’ she questioned with sadness and concern.

I opened my eyes and saw a wooden beamed ceiling.  Taking in a few deep breaths, I smelt and tasted an acidic burning of dried plant. Easing myself up, I felt the dead weight of my metal plate on my torso. With numb fingers I reached out for the leather straps at the side and found them all ready loosened. I pulled the armour off over my head and placed it down beside me. My arm guards hadn’t been unbuckled, but I quickly did that and pulled them off too.

I noticed a very low and short red lacquered table across from me next to the wall. On it a thick twist of sage was burning over a white bowl, a gentle curl of smoke rose upwards. A tall white church pillar candle was burning beside it. Soft padding footsteps ticked my ear and I turned to my right. Black pant covered legs met my eyes and I turned my head up, into the face of Rain.

‘Blaze? Are you all right?’

I touched the side of my head and rubbed it carefully. My hair was a mess around my face and shoulders. I withdrew my hand and didn’t see any blood on my fingers, but that area still ached.

‘Here,’ Rain said and handed me an opened bottle of water.

I took it and had a sip, whilst she crouched on the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees. She looked unhappy and concerned. Her mismatched eyes were also downcast and for a few moments she didn’t look at me as I drink. The water was cold and refreshing, I felt better. I handed it back to her and she took a few mouthfuls, before placing the bottle between us.

‘You didn’t really mean it, did you?’ I inquired, softly.

‘No, I just wanted to see what you’d do,’ Rain responded in a whispery voice, ‘I didn’t mean you any harm. I promised not to hurt you, remember? I always keep my promises.’

I felt her fingertips try to brush my hair back from my face, but it was too tangled and fell back. From her own hair, she tugged out a lilac thin elastic tie, which caused her hair to fan down like a waterfall. Shifting behind me, she gathered all my long golden strands up and tied my hair out of the way. Her hand brushed my shoulder and for a fleeting moment I wished she had lingered longer.

‘I head a man’s voice alongside your own,’ I spoke, as I pulled my legs crossed together and straightened up, ‘he said something about the wrong sides of Heaven and Hell.’

Rain’s face crumpled into puzzlement.

‘Maybe, it wasn’t a real voice or it could have been spiritual…’ I added, thoughtfully.

She glanced over her shoulder and in a single movement got up. She crossed the floor, went to the speaker system and collected something. Coming back she knelt beside me and showed me the palm sized music device in her hand. The screen loaded up an album cover with some kind of demon on a fiery background. Scrolling letters that I couldn’t catch moved along the bottom.

‘What were the actual words?’ Rain asked.

‘I can’t really remember,’ I admitted.

She hit play and loud piano notes accompanied by a guitar waved through the air, that harsh male voice began singing. We listened closely and a few moments later we both heard the line. Rain stopped the song and looked at me, ‘see? That’s all it was, Five Finger Death Punch. I like to listen to them when I practise,’ she finished in a half shrug.

‘I understand,’ I replied, simply.

Rain switched the device off and ran her fingers along the edge. We were quiet for a few seconds, then she mumbled, ‘maybe it was some kind of sign.’

I turned back to her, having been staring at the burning sage and candle. She was looking at the floor again, though her face was softer and calmer now. She glanced up at me and further suggested, ‘you were looking for a sign about why you were stuck here.’

I nodded and waiting for her to go on.

‘Well, maybe that was one? I don’t know though,’ her voice laughed, ‘these musicians always seem to say the stuff I need to hear at the right moment. I know it’s just me reading too much into their lyrics though, but it seems to help.’

She went to get up, but I lightly clasped her arm, stilling her. I let go, though the warmth and softness of her skin almost prevented the movement of my fingers. I halted her words with a quick look and commanded, ‘tell me about yourself. You’ve hidden it this long, but now I need to know.’

‘It’s complicated,’ she uttered.

‘So? Tell me and I will try to understand.’

Rain shook her head, sending her hair spilling around her face.

Without thinking, I gathered the strands in my hands and tossed them over her shoulders. My palms skimmed her upper arms, I told them to let go, but they stayed and travelled further down to the balled up fists in her lap. I squeezed her hands and un-clenched her fingers, until she relaxed them against my own.

‘I have sinned, badly,’ she breathed, ‘I should look like Death to your eyes, because that’s what I am. I’ve meet other angels before, but they have kept their distance because they knew what I was, even if they didn’t fully understand it. You’re different and for whatever reason, you don’t sense the evil inside of me.’

‘You are a closed book to me, Rain,’ I admitted, ‘I have never been able to see your mind or aura. There seems to be just nothing, but I know that isn’t true. I thought you were creating the block yourself and perhaps that’s why?’

‘That is a part of it,’ she sighed, ‘but doesn’t explain the rest of it. Still, there’s always going to be mysteries that we don’t understand and we shouldn’t go seeking the answers to.’

I nodded and rubbing her fingers, allowed her to go on.

‘I’m warrior like yourself. Just as there are many different groups of angels, so it is with what I am. A Messore, a Reaper. You should already be aware of us. At least, our main group will be familiar to you,’ Rain paused, waiting for me to confirm this.

‘Grim Reapers, Death, the harvesters of mortal human souls. You guide the newly depart to Heaven or Hell. You are a form of angel,’ I rushed out.

‘Angels, who can never enter either realm and thus have become far from being the form you know. We are banished to Limbo and feared,’ Rain responded sadly, ‘I’m a member of one of their other groups. You see, it’s not just human souls we deal with. We have to take care of all souls- mortal and immortal alike.’

‘So, which souls do you…guide then?’ I wondered, half-unsure if I actually wanted to know the answer.

‘The most evil ones,’ she confessed, ‘like that Demigod bear, I saved you from. Though, it’s extremely rare to find his kind on the Earth plane. Normally, I go after what is classed as empty souls. They have no mortality left within them, if they ever had it in the first place. They feed on other souls, growing stronger and eviler, until that’s all they know.’

‘And it’s your job to vanquish them,’ I finished.

‘It was…I’m exiled now.’

To Be Continued….